A short note

I've been really busy lately, I guess, because I haven't had much time for blogging.

I put a down payment on a drum set last week. It's a Tama Superstar 5-piece set, all white. For some reason I can't find the right picture online--I can only get the picture of the blue set (which I didn't get because it was too expensive, and also because the white drums remind me of Dave).

I can't wait until I get my drums. I bought a pair of sticks--nylon tips, 5A's. I wanted to get the wooden brushes like Dave used to use on the beach, b ut they didn't seem to know what they were.

The store I went to was interesting. From the outside it looks like almost nothing... a small brick building that makes you think there won't be much of anything inside. But when you walk in it seems much bigger... like a regular music store. They keep the sticks behind the counter, which is a little irritating because I personally like to look at all the sticks. Dave taught me how to roll them to see if they're good, something which I forgot until this very moment when my sticks almost rolled off my desk. But I know these are--unless I've messed them up by playing almost non-stop.

I feel a connection to Dave's memory through the music... he was teaching me to play and I want to keep it up. I also really like playing the drums. I'd forgotten how much I'd loved it... I stopped listening to music for a while and I certainly didn't have any sticks in my hands. I re-taught myself the beats Dave had taught me, and also learned some new beats from the Internet. I can play a swing beat now, which I'm really proud of because the website I got it from claimed it was a hard beat and recommended "coming back to it" if you didn't get it right away. Needless to say, I didn't take that advice. I've been using chairs and fans and whatever I can find as high hats and desks and tables and softer chairs as snares. I can't wait until my loan check clears so I can pay off the balance on my drums! I want to hear wht I really sound like, on a real kit, with cymbals instead of the top of a metal chair.

In the meantime, the job hunt continues. I got a call from Lumberton yesterday, asking me to come in on Monday to discuss working as a teacher's aide. I've been pretty persistent... the HR person there doesn't accept the new law stating that you can teach with a BA in psychology even if you don't have 24 units yet, but I've been e-mailing him to ask about other positions fairly regularly. I guess it paid off, because he finally called. He doesn't seem to remember that he met me last summer, which isn't a great sign, but he seems interested in finding me something since I'm insisting on looking in his district, which is a good sign. Lumberton isn't too far, about half an hour away.

I hope I get something soon... I'm tired of not working, of living off student loans and parental help when I'm used to being financially independent. I'm trying to learn to be more responsible for the things I want to achieve. I want to find a way to stop hoping to get something and get something, but I'm not quite sure yet how to do that.