Burning desires

Something happened to me last night. I was lying in bed, tyring to go to sleep early, as I had a headache, and not succeeding. I started reading a book about writing. Suddenly the desire to become a successful writer burned in me. I felt I wanted this more than anything.

I got up and worked on my list of potential magazines for my short story Disillusionment. The more I worked on it, the more I wanted this to succeed. I'm convinced that it will. Dave was going to read it the day before he died but his computer wasn't working. I think if I submit this story God will bless it. Dave will make sure of it.

This morning I worked on Chapter 3 of Elsie for a good hour before I ate breakfast, and spent the rest of the day working on my list. I'm up to the L's now. I was going to work for another hour but I got too squirmy so I called it a day, although I might go back to it later.

Unfortunately I mixed up my dates and missed an assignment for one of my classes. That's the first time that ever happened. I'll have to e-mail the teacher on how to proceed. I'm embarrassed, and I think being depressed over the last few days probably contributed to that mistake :(

But I'm not depressed now. I feel strongly that I'm going to make it.

I know that every time I succeed, it's going to be bittersweet because Dave isn't there to share my joy. But I also know that I WILL succeed.